Wounds To Be Erased
by Tomy
Summary: Companion piece to my other fic Scourge Of Duty. Lorne confronts Angel about his feelings while Buffy sings.(B/A!)


Title:  Wounds To Be Erased

Author: Tomy

E-mail: brdf@sympatico.ca

Website: knightfic.8m.net 

Disclaimer: Joss et all owns em, I'm just borrowing em.  They get the big

bucks, I get a little fun.

Rating: PG 13

Feedback: Always welcome.

Author's Notes: This is a companion piece for Scourge of Duty, to be read

after part 10 to make any sense.:-)  My muse finally got tired of writing

everything from Buffy's point of view and wanted to get into Angel's head ;)

My Immortal by Evanescence from the album Fallen  I highly recommend this

hauntingly beautiful song!

Thanks to Froggy for sending me this song and to Asp and Knightshade for

their wonderful reactions to this ficlet.

***

Wounds To Be Erased

by Tomy

 The music drifting through the hotel from downstairs was haunting enough,

but this song, it was pure torture.  So was the realisation that Buffy was

singing along to it.

 Angel found himself standing at the top of the stairway, leaning on the

railing, watching as Buffy lay stomach down on the reception desk below,

reading through a book, singing as she

casually flipped the pages in her search.

my immortal

I'm so tired of being here

suppressed by all of my childish fears

and if you have to leave

i wish that you would just leave

because your presence still lingers here

and it won't leave me alone

 Angel felt the sting of the lyrics, they represented so much of their life,

so much of what he had felt after he left her.

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase

 "That girl is carrying a great deal on her tiny shoulders."  Lorne leaned

on the railing beside Angel, watching the blond Slayer.

 "I know." Angel found his voice wavering.

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

and I've held your hand through all of these years

but you still have all of me

 "You've taken a lot off her shoulders today."

 "Have I?"

 "You two are destined to be together, that shines bright and true; off both

of you.  I don't need either of you to sing to see that."

 "I hurt her, time and time again."

 "It's not your fault."

 "Isn't it?" Angel finally turned from the figure downstairs.

you used to captivate me

by your resonating light

but now I'm bound by the life you left behind

your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

 "I wanted her so badly, to the point where it was all I could think about.

Being with her should have been enough and it wasn't."

 "That's not a weakness, Angel.  You're a man, and she's gorgeous woman.

The Powers united you, let you fall in love.  Once you had a true taste of

that - well, I don't know how you

had the strength to keep your hands off her."

 "I didn't.  I don't..  God," Angel rubbed his face with both his hands.  "I

was so jealous, so angry, I took her.  Slammed her back against a tree and

took her.  It took everything in me to

stop what was happening.  I was so scared it was already too late.  I felt

it, just like I did out first night.  The perfection, her love, her

acceptance as she relaxed against me, as she

responded to me."

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase

 Lorne shook his head. "You might have acted irrationally, but, man, that's

love.  After all this time you two remain doe-eyed about one another,

doesn't that tell you something?  Not to

mention the one thing you are kicking your own ass about is the one thing

that brought about your nailed in soul."

 Angel turned started eyes towards his friend.  "How did you know?"

 Lorne smirked good-humouredly. "Angel, I've know you for a few years now.

You've always had a strong aura, but there's been a..." Lorne used his hands

shifting in the air to illustrate

while he searched for the words.  "A grey area surrounding you.  Since you

came back from Sunnydale, that's been gone.  Not to mention the two little

marks on Sunshine's neck.

Doesn't take a psychic to figure it out."

 "Only someone who cares enough to pay attention." Angel smiled fondly at

his friend before turning back to Buffy's still singing form.

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

and I've held your hand through all of these years

but you still have all of me

 "What are you waiting for?" Lorne asked gently.

 "For the right time."

 "That's the biggest cop-out I've ever heard.  She loves you, Angel.  Deep

seeded, soul-crunching love.  If I were to hazard a guess, she always has.

Whatever it is you're feeling, she's

echoing it."

 Buffy glanced up, meeting Angel's gaze.  Blushing deeply she sang the last

chorus with passionate strength.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

and though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

 "Grab onto this, while you still can."  Lorne advised over the last chords

of the song.

 Angel stood, his gaze locked with Buffy's, mulling over everything Lorne

had just told him, sorting through his own ragged emotions before nodding

slowly.


End file.
